Binge Trigger

Dear Gertie,

I feel for you baby.

There never seem to be enough hours during the day and night to do --- everything.

So you find yourself staying up late til the wee hours of night and waking up with only.. what.. 3-4 hours of sleep everyday?

I know. How will you ever keep up without me? Those chapters will remain unread and the house chores undone because there really isn't enough of your energy to go around isn't?

My sweet.. sweet tired girl. 

How about you stop talking

Open me up and take a little sip

It won't hurt you

or derail you

It will only get you through the day. Isn't vanilla your favorite flavor?

Mmmm.. the cold, sweet coffee goodness and the double shot of energy is all you need. There is absolutely nothing wrong in craving me.

It's just a harmless sip to get your through the day. Don't think about the consequences. The sugar binges that I trigger after. Besides, you need the caffeine kick to get through the week.

It won't hurt your diet. I promise. It's just liquid goodness.

So come on sugar-pie.. take a sip. You deserve it.

You work too hard.




Dear Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Drink,

Frack you. I'm sticking to my unsweetened home-made ice.  The 2-minute bliss isn't worth the consequences.

You don't know what I deserve or not.  I'm calling the shots because I decide what's good for me and that ain't you.

Thanks for the offer but no.

Letter to Self

Dear Gertie,

I hope you enjoyed your summer. And that you took your time to savor every moment of being lazy and day dream for once in a very long time.

That you finally gave yourself that badly needed pedicure and revamped these chipped, faded, red nail polish toes you've had since god knows when

Doesn't it feel awesome to just let you mind wander about senseless and simple things about life and not having to worry about reading the next 300 chapters in your textbook?

I sure hope that this summer break helped you replenish that old spirit and you are ready for another grueling 16-weeks of blood, caffeine, and tears (when things go badly or happy)

I know you've been doing a lot of reflection and meditation about where you want to be in this journey. I know it's difficult but somehow you have to learn to trust yourself. Follow your instincts because I know it's always has been in the right place

I'm glad you found yourself this summer and that you finally know what you want and what you are willing to give up for the sake of the greater good.

Crack that whip pretty girl! And remember,

God won't put you to it, without seeing you through it

Why the Scale Isn't Always Right

Muscle weighs more than adipose tissue. So I shouldn't "flip-out" after weeks of lifting and doing intense circuit when I see that the scale bounced back to 172 fracking pounds right?

Right.

I'll keep what R. Colier's words of wisdom throughout the day.


Today's Food Options

• Perfect  Food (wheat grass and greens blend)
• 1 cup of Hanson's natural apple juice
• 3/4 kix with 2% milk
• lunch and dinner - tba

Progress Notes - Yesterday was all about grazing. I felt like an antelope sampling one small thing after another watching my back for the Big Snack Monster that seduces me to lose control. Today was a good day. I sampled and I stopped. Yay. It takes getting use to the idea of grazing since I'm so conditioned to eat 3 times a day. Heck back in the day I eat only 2x. I have noticed though that I'm gravitating over fruits and less on the sugary snacks. Halleluiah!

Today's Workout

• 30 min treadmill with 10 level incline walk/run
• 30 min step machine

Progress Notes - Workout yesterday was 30 min spin bike and some strength circuit in between. I only did 30 minutes. I'm heading out to the gym.. NOW.

Oh-la-la Wednesday

Today's Food Options

• 1 serving of wheat cereal with 1/2 cup of 2% milk
• 3 pcs on onion rings
• 1/4 cup of green beans
• 2 tbs of mac and cheese
• Slimfast chocolate shake
• 2 cups of Edename
• 1 cup of cantalope
• 5 crackers and hummus

Progress Notes - It's yet another humid day in the desert and it sucks. I really can't wait till winter when this time I freeze my ass off instead.

Food. I have tons of left overs in the fridge and since T had some gum surgery 2 days ago, he's in a liquid soft diet for the next 7 days.. Poor guy. He's living off my slimfast shakes and applesauce.

I'm thinking of maybe figuring out some sort of a more nutritional supplement for him other than sugar. Because that's pretty much what he's eating right now. I see constipation in his future LOL.

You would think his sudden change of diet is helping my cause. Since he's not eating much, I should too right? Hehe.. uh no. I seem to be ravenous and I literally have to stop myself because I seem to be hungry all the time! I remember using him as an excuse of my bad eating habits. Ha! I can't use that now.



Today's Workout

• 30 min step machine
• 30 min 10 level incline walk/run interval

Progress Notes - Don't you hate it when you're minding your own business in the machine and someone decides to take the machine next to you and they STANK like high-heaven?!

That was the experience today. Here I was looking at my timer, silently praying for endurance in the last 10 minutes so I can move away from smell of stale body odor.. *gag*

Goddamnit why won't other people learn how to deodorize?! Heck -- how about not wearing unwashed gym clothes!

Conversely, how about those people that over perfume themselves to the point of suffocating people around them?

Anyway that's my rant for today lol

Despite it all, it was a good workout. I'm actually enjoying myself and I am beyond feeling good about myself

Happy Hump Day All!