Following Rules

So.. clinic was cancelled TODAY!! Wooo-hooO!  More time to catch up on some reading :/

Actually I started off with the right intention, but I end up napping till noon, played online games and read like 20 pages.. hahaha.

Yea I crack myself up.

That seems to be my style.. Superb planning in details and execution.. start of great.. fall of the face of the earth the next day...when it comes to diet anyway. In other facets of my life, I'm a moving train.. unstoppable.

Anyway, I'm a stickler for rules and when I see others not following them I get irked. But when it comes to DIET rules.. well you just forget it because I will find a way to manipulate and bend it to my advantage.

I know! I'm crazy!

Anyway here are the diet rules I made that I ALWAYS break:

1. Eating after 6pm
2. stopping for fast food when I told myself I will not do
3. eating white bread.. white rice..
4. not drinking enough water
5. too lazy to even exercise for 10 minutes --- 10 freaking minutes!!! (since I'd rather do something else)
6. eat sweets after every meal
7. pick the diet coke instead of water -- it's tasteless! what can I say
8. pack my gym bag so I can go after school to the gym
9. more veggies
10. more fruits
11. keep a food diary -- I can honestly say, I have no idea what kind of food I eat in general -- it's called imposed amnesia lady
12. I am in Egypt -- in deNial

Honestly I admire those people with iron-clad decipline. I think that is totally the key to be successful in this diet ordeal.

I wonder if I am a hopeless case.

Start-overs.. how many has it been since?

Quiet frankly I've had so many start overs I've lost count. I'm been feeling a bit down lately only because I can't get my act together!!! Aggh!

I've been trying so many times to get my shiz in order but I give up on myself and find myself in this viscious cycle of starting over and failing -- every freaking week

I'm doing pretty well in school though. Been getting good grades on the last two major tests (I got another one coming up)

Still losing my hair (not sure if the prenatals are working-- lol)

I was a no show in my doctor appointment. I didn't feel like staying in town today so I drove straight home.

I have 2 weeks left in the 1st half of 3rd semester and I'm soooooooooooo over Peds.  I love kids but I can totally say that it is definately NOT my calling.

So onto Psych!

Last time I weighed in I was 1-freaking 72.  Ha! should I be suprised. Of course not, I knew it every single time I stop for fast food because I was too lazy to cook anything when I get home

I know I'm full of excuses and if I have the energy to whine about it all, why can't I put that to use in a positive way.

Blah. blah blah..

I'm done being positive.  I just wanted to wallow in my pity-party "woe is my why am I fat" monologue.

I promise I'll change the attitude tomorrow

I hope all of you are having a much better days than yours truly.

Back to studying.

I'm going bald

I am serious... I am most definately losing my hair...

AKKK!!!
 

I literally pull out a few strands every times I wash, stroke, touch my damn head.  It's such a sad story. :(

A friend of mine recommended prenatal vitamins. I bought some and hopefully it'll help cuz I aint gonna be bald on my graduation day!!

The mister found the bottle and asked me if there is a significant "reason" why I'm taking prenatal that he should know about lol.  I told him there were no stork deliveries and it was for my "hairloss"

In other news.. I got survived 2 major tests and 1 simulation labs. Got pretty good grades so I am happy. I got another big test coming up this Wednesday. Poop.

Diet wise I haven't weighed myself for weeks but I'm consistent with eating. I do one cheat day a week to get my chocolate fix in line.

No exercise. I really just haven't gotten any energy to do extra lately. But the goal is to control the weight by nutrition and see where it takes me

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

3-second breather... go!

Just finished my first Pediatrics exam this morning. Eh.. ok


having a little fun in Pediatrics

Not sure how I did and I won't know it till Sunday evening.. tap..tap..tap.. akkk!!

Been super busy but that's the usual in nursing school.

Diet wise.. I've been trying to eat better and currently working on the wonderful world of portion control. It's sucks when all I wanted is something fried or caffein-y to soothe my ever so stressful spirit.

One of my clinical pals has been on my case making sure I get healthy stuff from the hospital cafeteria. I love that she's keeping me focused and on track during school. I also been having some stomach problems.. I hope it's not ulcer. I've been having some pain every time I eat and I can't burp at will. I seriously hope it's not ulcer.. or GERD...

I'm so disordered that I kinda thought maybe this is a good thing. Maybe having a stomach pain will help me not eat so much? lol  I am so fracked up it's hilarious

In other random news. I worked a shift in the ER last week. I was in Cloud 9! It was sooo awesome and exciting. There were only 2 patients admitted in Peds so the clinic group had to be divided. I gladly "volunteered" to be in the emergency department that day -- sooo glad I did.

They brought in someone who had a cardiac arrest and I was able to be a part of the reviving team. It was an eye-opener and I've learned so much that day, like you can't just defib someone, you have to have the right cardiac rhythm (vtach or a-fibs). So you had to continue chest compressions and epinephrines to achieve that. CRAZY. I'm certified in CPR so they had me rotate with the chest compressions.

I can't forget how the person's face looked. It had a purple cast to it. Despite everyone's efforts that day, the person did not make it and the doctor made the call for time of death.

The person didn't look dead.. just sleeping or resting from the broken ribs from chest compressions.

I couldn't quite digest that the person just passed.

The next thing that came to my mind is that... I really REALLY should take care of myself.

I need to start eating right and lose these weight.

 I don't want to be in that same table being worked on for 20 minutes to revive me from a heart attack..

I really can't.