Four weeks in postpartum has come to an end. Next week --- Labor and delivery -- oh boy.. or girl!
I have mixed feelings about it all, only because I am so bad at things when I have no idea what to expect. My hope is that I'll get over it soon and somehow managed to get a good nursing experience.
Anyway, I went shopping at Trader Joes which is this awesome, somewhat affortable health food store in my area.
I got a whole lot of great healthy goodies -- no sweets! So I'm expecting this month to start off awesome.
I still feel pissed about not hitting my weight mark last february -- I was so freaking close. It's so difficult when I can only put in about 40% towards anything "weightloss". But I'm so putting whatever time I can spare.
I'm getting good at walking with Daisy for 20 mins every other day, which I think is an improvement from not getting exercise at all.
But honest to goodness I feel disgusting inside. It's getting harder and harder to breathe at night and I've been having some funky palpitations and it scares the shit out of me.
I don't know if its just anxiety from school, stress, what I eat.. it's probably all of the above.
I seriously can't live like this.
If I don't make the changes soon, I'll lose that chance and have a heart attack.
As you can tell, this scares the bejesus out of me. My mom started hypertensives meds at 38.. I am 31. so shit.. yea the apple probably will not fall too far from the tree if I don't do anything.
It's amazing how much we take our health for granted and place it in the back burner.
I am 5'2
171 lbs
BMI of 31 Obese catergory
What kind of a nurse would I be if I can't even role model for my patients? What a joke.
You will be a great role model because you are trying to change. And unlike someone who has never been fat, you understand. You know that its not as simple as skinny people think. Fat people aren't lazy and stupid which is what media so often portrays and I suspect many a thin person thinks.
ReplyDeleteyou are a great person and role model sweetie. I know its hard and sometimes anxiety makes all kinds of things happen.When my anxiety is peaked my asthma gets bad when it gets bad I start having chest pains that make you think you are having a heart attack. Try some meditation, watch a calming movie, listen to some classical music.
ReplyDeleteLynn